The Girls Club Page 7

  Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

  She emailed Rosh. The clothes shopping would still have to happen. Hopefully she wouldn’t be picking Carolyn pubes out of teeth all day while she was doing it.

  Hold the fucking phone! No one, NO ONE, has said that’s a necessary performance piece. In fact. If you do go so far as to put your mouth near there I will personally insist we rinse with ‘tidy bowl’ when we get back. And that shits fatal.

  Point taken. There wasn’t going to be anything south of the border that wasn’t of a perfunctory nature. That was it. She had made massive strides in personal expansion of late, what she didn’t want is to ruin the whole thing, ruin her mentality, by having a run in with a ‘she bitch’ in heat.

  It would be name, rank and serial number.

  Ask Rochelle what she’s like. Maybe she knows the quickest way to press the buttons.

  What a quality idea! If she knew how to give Carolyn that special lovin’ it would be over lickity split. Then the receptionist with the eerie teeth would just be a glare in the rear view mirror. Once she was in the down line she had no way of getting her hands on her again.

  She just had to make it good. Once.

  And pretend its someone really hot. Or maybe make sure its dark. And definitely make sure you’ve been blessed by a Priest.

  Her worst worry two months ago was that she would ever find anyone to sleep with, such was her fear of being found out for what she truly was. How different things had become.

  Would you sooner go back to the way it was? How boring and lonely was that?

  Her email jingle told her she had new mail.

  Rochelle had got her message and they could make arrangements over a drink in the bar later. She mailed back her thanks. Her desk buzzer went.

  “Come through please Karen” Sarah Steiger? How much more excitement could she put up with today.

  She slapped her forehead, the flimsy for the documentation she’d taken earlier was on her desk, she picked it up.

  Tap, tap.

  “Come in”

  Karen came in and closed the door.

  “That for me?”

  “Yeah, sorry.” she passed her the signed note.

  “I’ll forgive you. This time. It doesn’t pay to keep me waiting for things, that’s something you’ll come to learn, I needed this when you got back.”

  “I’m sorry” her face was going red. She willed it to stop. No soap.

  “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again” she didn’t sound angry. But Karen didn’t want Sarah to be mad at her. It would spoil her Saturday evening aspirations.

  She turned to let herself out.

  “Hang on”

  This is where you get chewed out. Hope you liked your bum where it is because its all about to be re-arranged.

  Sarah saw her look and smiled.

  “I was just going to ask you, we still on for Saturday? I hear you’ve got an engagement?” and with a huge sigh of relief Karen said she would be able to meet her as planned.

  “Ah. A gracious host? Well. To be brutally honest I have a Chain Rendezvous later on that evening that I’m not looking forward too.”

  “Mines on Friday.” Karen said glumly.

  “Carolyn huh?”

  Karen came over and sat down. Her blush forgotten. This wasn’t shop talk any more.

  “I’m making a move on the top ten. Its taken me two years to get this far. Work. Court. Studying. I can’t tell you who she is but she’s a real hard ass.”

  It was passing strange that they were both feeling a little performance anxiety about the coming weekend, (pun not intended).

  “I don’t like Carolyn” and there it was. All blurted out and ugly.

  “She’s a peculiar creature that’s for sure. But stalwart and loyal. A member of the Chain for almost as long as its existence.”

  “I know what I have to do” Get bathed in the blood of the Christ child first.

  Sarah disregarded what she’d said and went on, “I’ll be glad to see you first really. Can we meet say, 6 downstairs in the bar. It’ll give us time to talk. Is that better than 8?”

  Every time it’s the ever lovin’ bar.

  But what came out of her mouth was, “Of course Miss Steiger”

  “You’re very formal when you’re serious, d’you realise that?”

  You’re very pretty when you smile like that, you remind me of someone, a long lost someone.

  Her mind raced at the thought.

  “It’s a serious business” she said gravely, getting out of the chair to leave for the second time.

  “Ok then.” she laughed. Karen had heard you should always leave ‘em laughing and she left the office.

  So boss lady was making a bid on the top ten? The top ten that were so secret they weren’t on any lists.

  Who writes the lists? Who knows who these people are?

  It was for cleverer people than her. Or at least, people higher up on the Chain.

  Packing up time eventually rolled round and Rosh came round to her section and picked her up. She saw the look that passed between Karen and Carolyn, it wasn’t a match made in heaven, but heck, bitter medicine was best taken quickly. You had to get through the dogwood to get to the lavender.

  “What you smilin’ at” Karen asked her.

  “Stuff”

  After a drink Rosh extracted the up and coming problem from Karen with a bit more clarity.

  “Oh dear”

  “Oh dear is right. I can’t stand her, I want to make the sign of the cross behind her back”

  Rosh started laughing, the more miserable Karen looked, the funnier it was.

  “Heartless bag. Did you?”

  “Care, yeah. Course I did”

  “How? How did you manage. Did she not turn you to stone”

  “You talk funny!” she was giggling madly.

  “That’s your bloody answer to everything eh, ‘I talk funny’. S’alright, when I’m not in work next week because my pink bits have been bitten off by the ‘Day Glow Viper Queen’, you’ll be sorry” They were both laughing then.

  “It’ll be fine. Get drunk”

  Like we hadn’t already considered that?

  “Get her drunk you mean and put her to bed with a cucumber”

  The bar was mostly deserted. The girls were laughing so loud that a man waiting for a cab in the lobby went and stood outside in the cold. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was giggly girls.

  “Your face looks a lot better now”

  “Yeah”

  “What do you think happened to Demi?”

  What the hell are you doing???

  She hadn’t really meant to ask but now was the time and they were in good spirits. What was the worst that could happen?

  “You want to know the truth. I don’t know. I really, really don’t know” and she went quiet.

  You fucking idiot.

  “Sorry, sorry. It’s just…” go make it worse a bit eh, “Things have felt a bit weird to me since that night”

  Rosh looked like she knew what she meant though.

  “I tell myself not to think about it. She’s not here any more so she can’t jump on me and beat me up. That’s all I think about. I don’t think anything bad has happened to her though. She’s just not here” Rosh looked round the room.

  Ah. That’s not all you think about if you’re worried who might be listening.

  “Come on. Its Friday tomorrow and you’ve got a heavy night planned” and she smiled at her.

  “Bag!”

  “Just lie back and think of England”

  “Lie back and think about having my tit stuck in a swinging door more like”

  The tension snapped and they walked out arm in arm. When she had first met Rosh she had thought unkind things about her. About her intellectual capabilities and what office gophers were like personified. She regretted it now. Rosh had been open and companionable. Without her she would have been lost. She made a mental note to pi
ck her a little present up. A thank you gift.

  She hardly slept a wink that night. Every hour she woke and looked at the clock. If there was a way to avoid what was going to happen and still get on in the Chain she couldn’t think of it.

  Bitter medicine.

  Nothing else for it. Best foot forward. Have a few drinks. Bed the lady quickly. Think of Sarah.

  The next day when the lift door opened with its usual bong, Carolyn was smiling her fullest, most glowing smile ever. Like she’d known Karen was on her way up. A worm of fear, and if truth be told, a worm of nausea filled her belly.

  Smile fuckface. Yeah. So you want somma this. Yeah?

  She smiled back.

  “Morning”

  “Good morning Karen. Take it you slept well?”

  “Yes thanks”, when do I eat the apple that makes me sleep for a hundred years you fucking witch?

  “See you later” and she tinkled her fingers at her in a toodle-oo gesture.

  Karen passed the corner then shot her a ’v’. What she wouldn’t give to find a cannabis seller in the office at this point. It had been years, but it might have helped make the evening go off a little smoother.

  Wish in one hand and spit in the other.

  She had to smile to herself, Rochelle kept coming by, bringing her tea, chocolate biscuits and dirty jokes. She had found some better tasting tea it seemed and this made Karen feel simple gratitude again for the girl.

  She’d seen Sarah go past once and tried to focus on tomorrow night instead. Tried to think about how her poor boss was up against it tomorrow to get into the hallowed circles of the top ten. Carolyn also kept finding reasons to come by. It was like having broken glass shoved into her gums. Highly painful and irritating.

  Home time rolled round with frightening speed. It was only a few hours away now. Carolyn had sent her the details of where to pick her up. It was the done thing for the lowest on the Chain to do everything for the senior. Laughable as it was but in this case it was exactly the situation.

  “Hey” Rosh ran her home, as she was leaving the car Rochelle leaned over and put something in her hand. A pill.

  “What’s this?” her country mouse instincts told her it was a drug of some kind.

  “Take it. Or give it her. Its ecstasy, either way it should help”

  She read your mind?

  “Thanks Rosh”

  “Call me when its over”

  Almost sounded akin to ‘call me when you’ve had your appendix out’, or, ‘call me when you’ve had the frostbite removed from your genitals’.

  She slipped it into her pocket. Never before had she ever taken such a thing. She wouldn’t be doing either she tried to tell herself. Grass was the worst she’d ever done. She’d put half in Carolyn’s drink. Drastic times called for drastic measures.

  Is that wise?

  It was cowardly. And the one thing Karen didn’t like in the whole world worse than a bully, was a coward.

  Take it yourself or don’t bother with it at all.

  Sex with the receptionist was one thing, giving her the drug was another. Before she had time to second guess herself she popped the pill into her mouth and swallowed. Then she brushed her teeth. At least this way her conscience was clear. How could she have been considering drugging her?

  That’s pretty low.

  I’ll tell you what’s pretty low. This fucking plug hole. Look…ow.

  She cleared her throat and looked hard into the mirror. Her eyes were getting wild. Not as wild as ‘day glow teeth’ but pretty fucking wild. How long had she been stood here, brushing her damn teeth? That was a quick reaction alright. Hastened by her poor sleep the night before and her inability to eat much today.

  You’re officially getting out of your head. Good job you’ve got a taxi ordered because you’d wrap a car round the nearest lamp post in this state.

  “I won’t eat your apple” she muttered as she turned off the light.

  She had chosen beige pants and black shoes. A lavender coloured shirt that was low cut enough to be tempting without being too provocative and a necklace her mother had given her a very long time ago. She picked up her leather jacket and made sure she had her mobile phone in her pocket. She wanted to be ready to call the emergency room should her head start to fall off. Which at this point was a decided possibility.

  OK. Game plan. Give her plenty to drink. But not you. You’ve done enough friggin’ damage. Get her home. Give her what for. Then get the fuck outta Dodge.

  And we’re not to eat the apple?

  Riiiiiiiight.

  A bit of fresh air cleared her head a little. She had a text from Rochelle, she couldn’t read all of it, her eyes were doing jiggy things, she caught the tone of it though and she mentally thanked her for the best wishes. Good luck.

  Between bitter medicine, apples, the back office, day glow queens, the Chain and a pill. She didn’t feel there was much left in life she would ever need to do to feel fulfilled ever again.

  Carolyn was waiting at the kerb when she pulled up n her cab. Wearing some kind of faux fur concoction that really did look at home on the wicked witch.

  Watch it now. Say what you want. But do it without opening your mouth.

  Sound advice. And she was glad she’s thought it too, she almost told Carolyn that she looked like something that fell out of a leopards arse. The high heels did nothing for her either. Made her look like a hooker, and not a very highly paid one either.

  She smiled. Carolyn smiled back. Karen told the cabbie where to take them.

  They didn’t talk much. Karen felt that every time she opened her mouth some Pandora’s box was going to be opened and no God living or dead would be able to return the wrath.

  Carolyn didn’t let on she knew anything was wrong. Karen thought perhaps she didn’t suspect. How could she when Karen was behaving like a perfect gent. Opening doors for her, pulling out her chair, she’d pulled it too far but it had been accidental. Carolyn had hit the floor. Karen had to stop herself from announcing to all those present that the Queen was fine, she hadn’t dropped her apple in the slightest.

  They had a few laughs together. Amazing as it seemed. Carolyn was enjoying herself! It was a real date. Sarah would have been proud, of that much Karen was sure, because here was adversity and she was soaring above it.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  Where to? Hades?

  “Sure”

  And why not, I haven’t seen an apple in the past five minutes. I’m sure its fine.

  “Come on then. My place”

  Where you no doubt have your magic mirror you crone.

  Karen paid the tab and they hailed down a cab outside. Karen waited to feel anxious about what was going to happen and was actually more bothered about what might happen if she got there and there was a bowl of juicy red apples sat on the table.

  Could I just raise a point here?

  Sure. But you know the rules. Apples are off the menu.

  Ok sure. This is the part that counts. We’ve got this far. Just a little further and hopefully we won’t ever meet anyone we dislike so much every again in the course of our conquests.

  But no apples?

  No apples. Promise.

  She let Carolyn shut the door behind her. Everyone had apartments out here. Tin can sized flats where you could hear all manner of noises day and night. There were no apples. There was however a wild cat. Karen set about the task at hand with gusto. She didn’t shame herself in anyway she felt, whilst the pill perked through her synapses she could just generally run on autopilot. It was however very important to make sure that at no point an apple came anywhere near her. She kept making errant glances around the room as if apples had magically sneaked up on them whilst they were on the job.

  She’s not THAT stupid. You’ll have to eat the apple AFTER she’s gotten her rocks off!

  Karen ignored her thoughts. A thing she found easier to do as time went on.

  Carolyn was very vocal indeed. If i
t wasn’t for the fact that Karen had been hearing ringing in her head for about an hour already she might have asked Carolyn just why it was necessary to make such over exasperated noises when really, Karen wasn’t that good.

  Carolyn had drunk plenty of wine. It didn’t take long to fulfil her sordid desires. Karen was glad. She had started to feel quite ill.

  People die taking pills you pillock.

  No. People die when they do things that make them think of baby corpses and dead rotting flesh in their mouths.

  Carolyn didn’t reciprocate. No surprises as to why she had never progressed along the Chain. Karen was heartfully glad. She left Carolyn half dressed, (the bottom half was naked), she put the over cover on her so she wouldn’t get cold and let herself out. By the time she hit the lobby she was feeling a low grade panic. Her eyes were all over the place.

  Call someone.

  Who?

  She took her phone out and picked Rochelle out of the list.

  After about a dozen rings she was sure it wasn’t going to be answered, then she heard Rochelle’s voice small and distant and put the phone back to her ear.

  “…alright?”

  “Erm. I haven’t eaten the apple if that’s what you’re afraid of. But I’m outside the Queen’s building and I can’t seem to think of how to get home.”

  “You took the pill?” she sounded concerned.

  “Yeah. But its alright. Really. I just feel a bit crappy and I can’t get home”

  “I’ll be right there. Listen.” she could hear a zipper being pulled up, “Wait in the lobby, if you hang around outside in that state you’ll either get picked up by a cop or a pimp, I won’t be long”

  The line went quiet, “Apples?” she asked morosely. Karen felt very ill indeed now. She went back into the lobby and sat down. When she was trying her hardest to look like she was behaving she looked at her worst. Back when she’d been a young lass she’d gone home quite drunk one night. Tried her fucking hardest to make it look to her mum like she was fine. Went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, walking a straight line, or so she’d thought, she had ended up pouring scalding hot water on her foot. Made a right mess. A nostalgic smile crossed her features.